#i'm not here for a fight and i won't engage if you try starting one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kinascum · 6 months ago

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BITS. - M.STURNIOLO (harry potter AU)

summary: As night descended upon the Hogwarts grounds, the students retreated to their dormitories. However, as a prefect, you noticed a student missing from the dungeons.

Warnings: listen english is not my first language im sorry, angst, sad matt, regulus black coded matt, prefect!reader, slytherin!matt.

A/N: Hey! this is pt1 of my 1K CELEBRATION! find the celebration masterlist here (coming soon)! enjoy!!

As darkness fell, enveloping the Hogwarts castle, all of the students retired to their dormitories, preparing for a restful night's sleep. However, as a diligent prefect of Slytherin House, you couldn't help but notice that Matt Sturniolo was conspicuously absent from the Slytherin Common Room. Despite the stringent rules prohibiting students from wandering the halls at night, your concern for Matt propelled you to search for him.

Quietly making your way through the dimly lit corridors, you cautiously avoid the watchful gaze of the janitor and the ever-wandering eyes of the teachers. After what seems like an eternity, you catch sight of a mysterious figure in the main courtyard. And there he is, standing alone amidst the cold night, his face powdered with a delicate layer of snow. His demeanor exudes an aura of hostility and distance, not at all striking as this was his usual self. As you cautiously approach him, attempting to engage in conversation, Matt remains silent, his thoughts veiled in the mystique of the silent winter night.

You try several times to bring him out of his melancholic trance, but it seems like no matter how hard you try, Matt won't speak. Frustrated by his seemingly stubborn silence, you approach him and grab his shoulder, turning him back. You gasp, not having expected the tears running through his eyes.

"Matt...?" you question, concern bubbling in your own eyes as Matt' sobs intensify.

"Get away from me!" he yells tearfully, his voice quivering with fear and vulnerability. You instinctively reach out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he recoils, his eyes filled with hostility as if they were shooting needles into your skin.

Matt had never been the type to open up, yet you can't bear to see him suffer alone. Not when you know that his loneliness is eating away at him, causing him to doubt himself and question his sanity. How could someone as thoughtful and kindhearted (even if he didn't show it much) as Matt go through such anguish? It doesn't make sense.

In one swift motion, you pull the boy into a tight embrace, offering him the only comfort that you can give him in this time of need. He fights against your warmth. Sighs of denial fly out onto your shoulder as he cries. He rejects the embrace as he is used to doing, but you know he needs this more than his pride.

Eventually, he starts desperately clutching your clothes, struggling to stifle his cries, burying his head in your chest. You gently caress his back, trying to offer some semblance of comfort, yet his shaking is unbearable. All too soon, he pushes you away, looking into your eyes with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Why are you doing this!?" His uncontrollable sobs cause him to struggle for breath, and as he exhales, large white clouds of condensation form over his face.

Your heart breaks at the anguish radiating from him, as well as the frustration seeping out of every pore of his body. It feels like an entire ocean lies between you two, and the mere sight of it makes you feel so helpless. And then it hits you.

The first thought that comes to mind as you stare into Matt's wide blue eyes: You have to be there for him. If not for yourself, then for the sake of everyone who loves and cares about him. You want to ease the pain that his despair brings him, whether he wants it or not. Matt Sturniolo deserves to be happy, even if he's unable to accept it at the moment.

"I'm doing this because I care," you say between gasps for air, your heart pounding as you desperately search for the right words to convey your understanding.

Even though you barely know this boy, you can sense the weight he carries and how he longs for moments of peace and support. You take tentative steps toward him. You stop in front of him, your heart still pounding, feeling like you had ripped it out just to hand it to him.

As you stand there in the courtyard facing Matt, the cold night air seems to envelope you, creating an almost tangible barrier between your emotions. But the urgency to reach out to him and provide some comfort is overwhelming. He looks at you with a mix of surprise and pain in his eyes, as if he can't fathom why anyone would care about his turmoil.

"I want to be there for you," you repeat, your voice barely above a whisper, your own emotions threatening to spill over. "You don't have to go through this alone." Matt gazes at you, his expression a tumultuous blend of vulnerability and defiance.

It's evident that he's battling his inner turmoil, struggling with the idea of letting someone in. For a moment, neither of you speak. The silence seems to echo the heaviness of the situation, mirroring the weight of Matt's pain. At that moment, you feel a profound determination to break through the walls he had built around himself, to let him know that he isn't alone in this.

"I don't know if I can," Matt finally murmurs, his voice laden with uncertainty. He takes a hesitant breath, his gaze flickering between you and the ground. You wait, giving him the space and time he needs to process his emotions.

Before you can say anything, you hear footsteps approaching. Professor McGonagall's dark eyes pierce through the darkness. "What is the meaning of this?" she demands, her voice commanding and tinged with disapproval.

Matt steps back, his moment of vulnerability vanishing as quickly as it had come. "Nothing, Professor. I was just... I was just leaving," he stammers, avoiding your gaze as he brushes past you and heads back toward the Slytherin Common Room.

But before he could, McGonagall stops him dead in his tracks, "No, you werent, actually." She said, the boy stood confused before she continued speaking. "It is far past curfew, children, follow me."

Both you and Matt followed her out of the school, grumbling under your breaths. McGonagall turned and cast a stern look at you both, her eyes daring them to talk back. You quickly obeyed, knowing that McGonagall would not tolerate any disobedience.

Upon arrival at Hagrid's hut, he's already waiting outside, Fang by his side "Well, kids, you'll help me here tonight then," Hagrid said, his heavy accent dripping on his voice as he handed Regulus a heavy light, and an axe to you.

"What is this?" you ask, confused as to why he would hand a heavy axe to a child. "Oh. Right..." he turns around to face you both, "We are cutting down some trees these nasty little creatures have been eating at." The rest of his sentence was drowned out by your thoughts as you walked with him.

The weight of his pain lingers in the cold night air, and you can't help but wonder if you'll ever be able to break through to him. With a heavy heart, you make your way into the forbidden forest, knowing that despite your best intentions, some battles are fought alone.

A/N²: not my best work, but let me know if yall want a pt2, kisses!

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multifandomworldsposts · 6 months ago

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My Boxer

pairing: WWE!harry styles x fem!reader

warning: yelling, hickeys, making out, eating out, riding, unprotected sex, getting caught

Y/N’s POV

Harry Edward Styles, the most famous boxer that’s out there. And here’s me, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, Harry’s girlfriend almost fiancé. His fans think I’m just a groupie because there would be a lot of them at the stadiums seeing Harry or the other fighter.

One day, our worlds went downhill…

“All you fucking do is fight!” I yell at Harry.

“Because that’s my job Y/N!” He points at himself.

“You’re insane Harry! You’re insane!” I continue to yell.

“Me? I’m insane? You’re the one that hates every fucking thing I do!”

“That’s not true!”

“That photo shoot with those models, you hated that shit!”

“Harry! One of those models was flirting with you! That’s why I hated it!”

The way Harry looks at me, he knows I’m telling the truth.

“You’re such a liar!”

“You’re the liar Harry!” I point at him.

“Why is that huh?”

“Harry, I saw her looking at you and giving you a look that any groupie would give anybody who's in a sport."

"Groupies?"

"Yes! Most of your fans are groupies!"

"Y/N, I- No Y/N!"

I gather my things and try to leave but Harry tries to stop me.

"Harry, do you love me?"

"Of course I love you. Listen, I don't give a shit about any model, groupie, or anyone else, I love you more than anything. Why do you have an engagement ring on your finger?"

"Because you love me."

"Exactly honey. I won't give anyone the look I give you every time I see you in the crowd when I win." Harry holds my face.

"You mean that?"

"Y/N, you mean the world to me."

I give Harry a kiss and he kisses me back.

“I love you, okay? I love you so much, everyone in our lives knows it.” He still holds my face to look at him.

I nod. Of course, I love him, it's just I get paranoid sometimes.

A WEEK LATER

Harry has a boxing tournament on Friday, and he really wants me to come to see him but something is going on in my family's life, so I have to go to my grandma's house to talk about it, but I know Harry will be pissed but my grandma's health is more important.

"Are you sure that you're not going to the tournament? You know it's so important to my career." Harry says.

"I know that Harry, my grandma's health is so important right now!" I get angry.

"I know honey! It's just I want you to see me."

"We can just watch you on my grandma's TV, she's important to my family at this point, she broke her back a few weeks ago and I want to hear where she's going at this point, Harry!"

"Fine, go see her I don't care," Harry said but in a defeated way.

"Harry," I said.

"No, go see her. Her health is way more important than my boxing match." He said.

I can't believe he said this to me. He knows that she's having trouble walking, and my family and I are going to help her.

FRIDAY

I'm at my grandma's nursing home and we put Harry's boxing tournament on and he's losing. I can tell my family looks disappointed, I mean I am too.

"Y/N, go see Harry." My grandma says.

"What?" I look at her.

"Go see Harry, Y/D/N told me about the argument you two had, and I want to see him. I'll be fine Y/N."

"Are you sure gram, I mean I wanted to come see you," I said.

"Go see Harry." She said holding my hand.

I look at my family and they agree with what she's saying, I kiss her on the cheek, and she hugs me, I go up to my family and they hug me back, I'm going to see Harry.

I get to the stadium and the security brought me to my seat. I see Harry looking beaten up. He notices me and I see him looking relived. He gets back on his feet and started to do the last round, he starts fighting, he getting a lot better. I get kinda scared because I'm scared he might lose.

He wins! I jump up and down and scream his name. He looks at me and smiles, he's so happy already. He runs up to the section I'm sitting at and when got to me, he picks me up and kisses me all over my face, I giggle.

"I'm so glad you came." Harry says hugging me.

"My grandma wanted me to be here. My family and I were watching the fight and they noticed that you were having trouble so my grandma wanted me to come here." I confess to Harry looking at him.

He smiles, "Your family loves me."

"I know they do, they talk about you all the time." I smile.

He chuckles, we kiss again and I hear screaming, I look up to see us on the Jumbotron, I hide my face in his chest and I can feel him laughing and then we hear, 'Kiss your girl Harry!' in the stands, everyone laughs, Harry and I kiss again but we kissed for a long time. I totally forgot that people were cheering around us by how long kissed.

After the fight, Harry and I went backstage to celebrate his win with his crew.

"Another win, another victory!" John yells with a can of beer in his hand.

Everyone in the room cheers, Harry kisses my temple and I wrap my arms around him. I hope my family is happy about this win.

Harry and I go somewhere private to talk things out about some of our fights.

"Y/N, I'm sorry for how I acted a few nights ago, I was stressed about the whole boxing match and I know your grandma's health is important right now." He says while holding my hands.

"It's okay H, I know you were stressed, it's just I feel bad for yelling at you a week ago about your fans and everything, I know about your fans and I've met them with you, most of them are kids." I crest his cheek.

"It's okay baby." He makes me get closer to him.

He looks around and whispers to me, "Wanna do something?"

"Like what?" I whisper back.

He crests my thigh and I grab his hand away from me.

"Harry!" I whisper yell. "Someone can come in any second."

"Then let's give them a show." He wraps my legs around his waist.

He takes us to the nearest wall and begins to make out with me, I try to not moan and scream very loud. I feel him giving me hickeys all over my neck, which makes me moan and giggle at the same time. I tug on his hair and I can feel him smirking on my neck and then he begins to kiss me again.

Harry sets me down so we can take our clothes off and I see some scratches on his shoulders.

“What’s this from?” I point to the scratches.

“You.” He smirks.

I get confused on what’s he’s talking about.

“Remember last Thursday night?” He asks.

I think about it, now I remember that night, he was a little too rough for me.

“Now you remember?” He whispers into my ear.

“You were too rough baby.” I tug his hair a little.

“You want me to be rough again?” He says making us do nose to nose.

I look up and down at him for a bit until I grab his face to make out with him. He grabs me to take us to the floor and I continue to kiss him passionately until he stops kissing me, I whimper, he starts to kiss my body, I gasp and fluff his hair and then he starts to kiss my inner thigh and looks at me with lust. I heavily breathe while looking down at him, and then he begins to eat me out. I lay down and arch my back and I scream but I try to keep myself quiet but Harry keeps going. He puts my right leg on his shoulder but continues to eat me out. I climax and I feel his tongue on my cunt.

“You’ve been a good girl Y/N/N.” He says looking up at me.

“Only for you.” I heavy breathe.

He smirks again and sets my leg on the floor and crawls up back to me and kisses me again. I moan into our kiss. I can feel him wanting to fuck me so I stop kissing him and allow him to enter my cunt and he fucks me. We go in a normal pace but then he goes in a slow pace by him giving me hickeys all over my chest. I giggle and tug on his hair.

“You want me to ride you honey?” I ask him while he’s sucks my left nipple.

“Are you sure Y/N/N? I just fucked you and ate you out, I don’t know if you want to ride me tonight.” He says looking down at me.

I moan, “We’ve done it before H, remember last time?” I get a strand of his hair away from his face.

He thinks about it and then he takes himself out of me which made me gasp and he lays down so I can sit on him.

I giggle and I position myself so I ride his cock. He groans by my pace and helps me out with guiding my movement. I gasp and look a bit at the ceiling and look down him, looking like a mess.

“Hey Har- OH MY GOD!” Mark yells and shields his eyes.

Harry and I try to cover ourselves. “Get out of here Mark!” Harry yells.

Mark closes the door so quickly.

“I’m sorry Y/N/N for him to come in to see us like this.” Harry looks terrified.

“It’s okay baby, besides, I rather do this at home, where no one can open the door and sees us looking this.” I whisper in his ear covering my body with his t-shirt.

He gives me a little smile, I giggle and kiss him again.

“You wanna take shower and probably go back to where the crew is at?” I ask Harry.

“Wanna do round two?” He smirks again.

“Harry!” I playfully slap his bicep.

“Oh come on, I’ll help you with your body and you can help me with mine.” He sits up and says to me.

I stand up but I almost fall down and Harry catches me and carries me bridal style to the shower and god only knows what’s gonna happen in the next 20 minutes.

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sapphic-agent · 1 year ago

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Let's Talk About the Bakugou Problem

I've been enjoying the Bakugou slander here on Tumblr, but I haven't come across anyone that gets to the root of the problem with Bakugou's character yet. I think it goes further than him having anger issues, being annoying, or even how violent and abusive he is. Why I think Bakugou is a bad character is due to the effect he has on the plot, world-building, and the rest of the characters. There's a lot of layers here, so I'd like to take the time to talk as in-detail as I can while typing on mobile.

*Note: I'll be following the anime as it's easier for me to follow and pick specific examples. Manga readers if you have anything to add I'd love to hear it, even if it's against what I've listed here*

*Note: Bakugou fans you're more than welcome to read, though I warn you might not like what you see. I tried to keep this as constructive as I could without letting my own biases seep in (whether I succeeded is up for debate) so that everyone could read it whether you like Bakugou or not. I'm fine with criticism towards my points, I only ask that you remain respectful. I won't engage with anyone who disrespects me or other users*

1. Consequences

This is a big one among Bakugou critics, so I think it's a pretty good place to start. Bakugou has almost never faced actual consequences to his actions (there's a difference between something bad that happens to happen to him and the world around him not accepting his behavior). There are two instances that I can think of that there was a direct ramification to something Bakugou has done. The first was during the Deku vs Kacchan fight where Bakugou does get suspended for four days while Izuku gets suspended for three days. The other is when he and Todoroki fail the provisional licensing exam. However, there's a problem with these two instances I mentioned.

With the D vs K fight, Bakugou was the one who goaded Izuku out of the dorms and instigated a fight. Izuku was trying to get him to go back to the dorms so they could settle their "issue" under adult supervision. He was trying to do the responsible thing. For Izuku to only receive a day less of punishment seems unfair. Though, you could make the case that he should have ignored Bakugou, it's still very clear that one was way more at fault than the other and there was barely a difference in their punishment.

The provisional licensing exam actually did well with failing Bakugou. It was almost a great lesson; that he can't say and do whatever he wants and expect the world to roll over for him. Unfortunately, it's undermined by Todoroki failing as well. Yes, Todoroki failed because of Inasa. But a) Inasa attacked him first which should have resulted in disqualification (what was Todoroki supposed to do, not fight back when he was being assaulted?) and b) Inasa's entire character seems shoehorned into the story. He doesn't really add anything to Todoroki's character as most of his problems with Todoroki were already resolved back in season 2. He also contributes nothing to the overall story. Shindou, for example, has a hand in testing 1A and forces them to work together congruently. Inasa seems like he was put in the story simply to make Todoroki fail. Why does Todoroki have to fail? Because Bakugou does.

It seems like Horikoshi always softens the blow for Bakugou in a way, if he's dealt any blow at all. By not allowing Bakugou to face consequences on his own, he might as well not be facing them at all.

Why are consequences so important? Because Bakugou's privilege is a problem.

I don't think I've seen anyone address this. The root of Bakugou's behavior comes from the fact that he was allowed to do all those terrible things because the world around him was tolerant of it. Teachers turned a blind eyes when he bullied Izuku because he had a great quirk and Izuku was quirkless. He's allowed to do and say whatever he wants because he has a great quirk. While people seem to be harder on Izuku because of either having no quirk or not being able to fully control his quirk. This is a huge part of the story that was set up in the beginning, but was almost never addressed despite being persistent throughout. And it's the most present with Aizawa.

Bakugou attempts to attack a fellow student the first day of class? Simply restrained, no repercussions. Bakugou uses excessive force against a classmate despite his teacher telling him to stop? Nothing more than a few not-so-nice words. Bakugou assaults his partner and refuses to cooperate? No words at all.

Now look at Izuku. Doesn't have full control of his quirk? His teacher attempts to humiliate and expel him in front of his classmates on the first day of class. Saves a classmate in an admittedly risky rescue mission? Said teacher proclaims he lost his trust and labels him a problem child (despite the orchestrator of said mission- Kirishima- being in the same room and not getting spoken to at all).

(I don't know if Aizawa's projecting, but pandering to the kid with the strong quirk while simultaneously disliking All Might isn't a great look.)

Even before UA, Bakugou is praised by the heroes for his strong quirk against the sludge villain despite the fact that his quirk made everything worse while Izuku is scolded even though they were the ones who did nothing while he did what he could to save someone.

"All men aren't created equal." That's one of Izuku's very first lines and a central point of the story. It's something you expect it to address multiple times, especially in regards to Izuku and Bakugou. But Bakugou being spared from consequences every single time he does something terrible means that the statement is validated, but the problem still persists and is never rectified or solved. Even if you think Bakugou "changed," that doesn't make his privilege go away.

2. Plot Compensation

The story goes out of its way to make Bakugou seem like a better person than he is.

My first example is the Sports Festival, specifically his fight with Uraraka. In this fight, Bakugou is met with booing from the audience for not going easy on her. And right off the bat, this is weird. Because not only have we never seen this attitude toward women heroes before or after this, the show is trying to tell us something when Aizawa tears the crowd down. Almost as if saying, "The crowd is dumb and wrong and if you think like the crowd, you're dumb and wrong." Aizawa claims that Bakugou is treating Uraraka like a real opponent by not going easy on her.

...is he though?

Because we never see Bakugou stand still in a fight like he does with her. Bakugou's fighting style relies a lot on mobility. During his fight with Tokoyami, who he knew he had an advantage over because of the light from his quirk, he isn't standing still. During his fight with Todoroki he isn't standing still. He only does this with Uraraka. Because this isn't Bakugou showing respect, it's him still looking down on her. He doesn't see her as a serious opponent, just an obstacle in his way.

And I know this sounds like a bold claim. But if you recall, Bakugou immediately confronts Izuku after the fight and accuses him of giving Uraraka the idea she used during their match. He assumes it was a ploy from Izuku, implying that he didn't think Uraraka capable of coming up with a plan with the potential to work against him. This isn't respect for an opponent.

(Note: the only thing in Bakugou's favor is it's probably not because she's a girl. He just naturally looks down on everyone who doesn't immediately stand out to him with a show of power like Todoroki)

Then we have the revered scene with the League or Villains.

This scene is praised because it "subverts expectations." That the violent, angry kid doesn't want to be a villain. He wants to be a noble hero. Aizawa- again- silences claims against Bakugou, citing that he wants to win and he knows he can't do that if he's a villain.

My thing is, however, the League targeting him in the first place. Why would they do this? Bakugou clearly has a heroic quirk. He scored first on the entrance exam. If they did any research at all beforehand, they would know that Bakugou was at the top of his class before UA and is in the top five currently. And they'd know he has wealthy parents.

(You would think Dabi especially would draw parallels to Endeavor and would be aware that Bakugou's ambition and heroic quirk don't make him similar to the League who have been discriminated against, shunned, and abused for most of their lives. Even with his behavior at the Sports Festival, Endeavor isn't the noble and kind type like All Might and most other heroes. So I'm not sure why Bakugou's behavior immediately screamed villain potential)

Nothing about him suggests he's had a hard life like most of the League. Nothing about him suggests he'd want to leave his comfortable life and secured future to become a villain.

This scene sets up Bakugou's redemption, right? It leads us to the Deku vs Kacchan fight and All Might's advice is what makes him take on his "save to win" mentality.

But not only does this seem like a convenient plot device, it decidedly ignores the uglier part of Bakugou's decision.

Bakugou rejected the LOV because he saw them as losers. But what if they hadn't been losers? What if they had been doing as well as they were at the end of season 5? Merging and becoming the MLA front, organized teams, wealthy, successfully recruiting members right under the heroes' noses.

Maybe Bakugou wouldn't have outright joined them. But at this point before shifting his perspective, his answer might have been very different.

But the story goes out of its way to hammer in Bakugou's scarce good traits to take your focus away from his overwhelming bad ones.

3. Bakugou's Character Shift "Development"

The way Horikoshi wrote Bakugou in the beginning is very different to how he is portrayed later in the show. No, I don't mean his development. I mean the major shift in his character between seasons 1/2 and season 3/4.

Bakugou in the beginning of the show is cruel, meanspirited, and violent. And he's still all of those things throughout the show. The one difference is that it's played for laughs in later seasons.

Bakugou's actions and words in seasons 1 and 2 are portrayed a lot more serious than in later seasons. He's an antagonistic force, one that Izuku has to strive to overcome not just to be a good hero, but for himself as Bakugou has been one of the most prominent obstacles in his strive to become a hero.

Look at his behavior during the battle trials. It's something serious, something that has even All Might worried. Bakugou knew he could have very well killed Midoriya and didn't care. It's brutal and almost hard to watch because at this point in the show Midoriya is weak and tiny (visually, we know he's never really been weak) compared to Bakugou and can really only outsmart him to win.

We never see Bakugou display anything close to this level of violence in later seasons. Not in the Sports Festival or 1A vs 1B or D vs K or the licensing exam or even against literal villains. Season 1 went out of its way to show Bakugou's cruel behavior even using it as something Izuku has to learn how to overcome even if he has to risk everything.

By season 3, the perspective has changed. Bakugou name calling people, belittling people, yelling, and his acts of violence are now exaggerated for comedy. None of his actions are taken as seriously as they were before, despite some being almost or just as bad.

(It's worth mentioning that this was also around the time Bakugou began to get popular among fans)

A great example of this is in season 5 when he throws his headpiece at Izuku and makes him bleed. His casual act of his aggression towards his lifelong victim is present to make the audience laugh, despite the fact that Izuku was bleeding and the 1A boys are (rightfully) horrified.

(I'd like to add that there was no real reason to do this. Nothing he was saying would have exposed OFA and even if it had, he was done talking by the time Bakugou threw it)

If Bakugou had really changed at this point, this would have never happened in the first place. I can't call this changing or development, I call this his actions shifting into comedic relief and away from the serious connotations they previously held. By taking that away, it allows Bakugou to continue to do the same things he has all his life while under the guise of development. It undermines what's supposed to be his redemption arc.

4. Other Characters

Bakugou isn't the only one who gets a character shift. It's approximately the moment that Bakugou begins to get more attention that the other characters lose the substance they had at the beginning of the show.

The ones hit most notably by this are obviously Uraraka and Iida. They were Izuku's first friends, his original trio. More than that, they are set up as interesting characters with their own arcs and paths for becoming great heroes.

Even though I did have my complaints about her fight with Bakugou in the Sports Festival, it does turn Uraraka onto improving past her goal of becoming a rescue hero. She wants to become better in other aspects of being a hero so that she can succeed and keep up with her stronger classmates. She proved herself capable of this during her fight with Bakugou and it was the catalyst of her character development.

Iida was not only resolving himself with caring for Midoriya as a friend as well as being his rival and wanting to surpass him. There's also this darker side to him that no one expects from goody two shoes, straight-laced Iida that had so much potential for exploration.

Both of them are tossed to the side in favor of Bakugou. I would even go as far as to say that after season 2, they're almost irrelevant until season 6 and even then they're limited (before season 6 Uraraka's only character trait is that she ignores he feelings for Midoriya to become a better hero, which came out of nowhere and does nothing for her character). And they barley ever get moments with Izuku during time despite being his first friends.

Todoroki is a similar yet very different case. At the beginning of the show, he was intense and has strong feelings. (An interesting parallel is that if Iida was his friend becoming his rival, Todoroki was his rival becoming his friend and both relationships speak to Izuku as a character) Even if he didn't express them, we as the audience knew they were there. But as times passes he becomes flat and dull. Even though he's supposed to be part of the new trio, he's barley present (the dynamic between the three of them is uninteresting all around as it's basically Bakugou yelling at Izuku with Todoroki in the background. They never have any deep or heartfelt moments nor do they have good chemistry) and barely gets any one-on-one interaction with Izuku despite them being very good friends.

(I can't blame this all on Bakugou as the show also shifts from focusing to Todoroki to focusing on his own abuser which is part of the issue with his lack of character, but Bakugou's character does contribute to this problem of making the abusers more sympathetic than the victims)

Most if not the rest of 1A fade into the background after this, save for a few who have notable moments sprinkled in throughout the show. You can take this as a Bakugou prevalence problem, or it can be seen as Horikoshi just not knowing how to balance characters.

However, the character that suffers the most because of this is Izuku himself.

I don't think it's a bad thing that Izuku admires or looks up to Bakugou. I don't think it's a problem that he doesn't see anything wrong with Bakugou's behavior against him. Izuku grew up in an environment where that was normalized. That he's worthless because of his lack of quirk and Bakugou deserves to be on top because of his great quirk. Of course he internalized that, even though he knows that a quirk doesn't determine someone's worth. He was never given the tools or the means to beat that mindset.

What I despise is the fact that everyone around him enables it.

As I stated above, Aizawa is definitely the worst when it comes to this. Not only shoving Bakugou and Izuku together and making it Izuku's job to get Bakugou to cooperate, but hardly if ever condemning Bakugou when he lashes out against Izuku. Even without their history, what Bakugou does is wrong and should be treated as such.

Unfortunately and even though I love All Might, he's also guilty of this. It's true that he might not know the full extent of their toxic relationship, but All Might sees Bakugou instigate a fight with Izuku and decides it's okay to tell Bakugou about One For All. Bakugou did nothing to earn this honor: he hasn't shown Izuku support and hasn't been a reliable ally he could depend on. But even disregarding that, Bakugou had just been captured by villains who work for All For One. He was the last person on Earth who should have been entrusted with this secret.

The adults in Izuku's life enable and reward Bakugou's bad behavior and urge them into forming a relationship and partnership that frankly shouldn't exist (and only does to make Bakugou a better person and hero, it does nothing for Izuku). It's to the point where almost Izuku's entire character revolves around his relationship with Bakugou and how he improves because of it and how he helps Bakugou improve. And he further projects this when he "subtly" implies that Todoroki should forgive Endeavor, which feels like a justification towards the audience of his own feelings towards Bakugou.

5. Accountability

I mentioned consequences as my first point. But what many who want this miss, it goes hand-in-hand with accountability.

Unlike consequences, Bakugou more or less does take accountability in the form of his apology. But the apology was lackluster for a couple of reasons. The main thing is that it feels like a list of excuses rather than simply owning up to the fact that he was shitty and there's really no good reason for it. But simply explaining why you hurt the person you hurt isn't giving them the apology they deserve. It's making it about you.

Another thing, though, is that the apology is very scarce. It skips over the worst of Bakugou's actions. Nothing he said was anything 1A didn't already know. They don't know about the s*icide baiting which is one of the worst things he's done to Izuku (and that's only what we saw, who knows what Bakugou's been saying for years?). It also ignores everything he did in UA, which was a very big part of the problem. He treated Izuku poorly months prior to the apology and that shouldn't be ignored.

As far as accountability goes this apology isn't that great. But it's something. No, what's worse is that the other characters don't hold Bakugou accountable.

The other characters more often than not turn a blind eye to Bakugou's behavior. We've already covered Aizawa, but the rest of 1A is guilty of this too. No one says anything about the Battle Trials. Hardly anyone condemns Bakugou when he attacks or insults Izuku. Sometimes they'll chime in like Uraraka or Kirishima, but other than that no one outright tells him off. This is out of character for Iida in particular because he's such a stickler about rules and courtesy for others (he literally told off a six year old when he punched Izuku and tried to stop Mineta from perving on the girls, why wouldn't he do the same when it comes to Bakugou?). It's almost like the characters are blind to Bakugou's behavior.

What's weirder is that Mina and Kirishima- who were both stated to hate bullying- are friends with him. Why would the show go out of its way to tell us this only to saddle them into the "BakuSquad?" It doesn't make sense.

It's hypocritical that everyone in 1A is so tolerant of Bakugou but get annoyed with others; like Monoma for example. Or even Mineta because as much as I dislike him he's constantly being called out by 1A. It means that they know certain behavior is wrong and/or shouldn't be entertained, so we know they aren't completely unaware. But the fact that they largely ignore Bakugou's behavior and condemn Monoma's is so weird. You can't excuse one and not the other.

Conclusion

There's certainly more than this to my dislike of Bakugou. But I think I've mostly covered his negative impact on the story. Doing a deep dive into his awful personality is something I wouldn't wish on anyway. Many others have done that anyway, so I'm content to leave it out. But I hope you liked my little breakdown!

#anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugou #anti aizawa shota #bnha critical #bhna criticism #bhna #mha #mha critical #criticism

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matthewswifeee · 4 months ago

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Reunited

In which you haven't seen or spoken to the triplets in over 3 years because of your messy relationship issues. . TW: Mentions of domestic violence (Not by any of the triplets) . And btw I never proof read. .

Three years... it has been three whole years and I find myself pulling into the drive way of a very familiar house. Danny, my now ex boyfriend and I just got into a huge fight...once again.

I can't do this, I think to myself as I continue to sob in the drivers seat of my car. Maybe I should just go home now and save my self the embarrassment. "They're gonna move away and forget all about you" Danny's word replay in my head over and over. "They don't have time for you" "They're actually making something of themselves what do they need you for" "Save them the trouble of having to deal with you and all your problems" his words replay again in my head, they probably haven't even thought about me all this time, I say to myself before hitting the steering wheel and snapping myself out of my thoughts.

I can't say that I haven't done this before, sat in their drive way trying to build up the courage to show my face again, but this happens every time. I think about Danny and all the things he has imbedded in my brain about them and how they feel towards me and I chicken out and run back home to him. I always walk back into that house that is supposed to be my home and stay with the terrible man that I've built somewhat of a life with.

I look down at the shining diamond ring placed on my left hand and think, there is no way I can marry him. I've been engaged to this terrible man for almost two years and ever since he's put this ring on my finger it has all gotten worse and worse by the day. Every time I pull into this drive way I tell myself it's the last time and when I leave without getting out of the car once again I won't come back, I can't come back and ruin their lives.

MATT'S POV:

"She's here again" Chris says looking through the curtains of our living room making Nick and I both get up to look with him. I can see her crying, she does this every time. She sits in the car and cries like something I've never seen before then she pulls her self back together and drives back off. "Come on" Nick whispers hoping that she'll actually get out of the car. "She's been there for awhile maybe tonight's the night" Chris says with hope.

We know how terrible her boyfriend is, but we also know that she always goes back to him and it's not her fault that he's found every kind of way to control and manipulate her. "Wait look" I say seeing something shining through her windshield. "No" Chris says noticing it too. "You don't think they're getting married, right" Nick says but it sorta comes out as more of a question.

"That has to be why she's here" I say, "And why she hasn't left yet" Chris adds on, she knows she can't marry him the rest of her life would be gone. We've seen the bruises every time she pulls into the driveway and it just get worse and worse, If she were to actually marry him she'd be stuck forever there's no way she would leave him.

"Fuck" I shout trying to snap myself back into reality. I have to do this, I have to go inside... If I don't Danny is going to end up killing me. I reach for the door handle and take one last breath before opening it. I place one foot on the ground and feel myself start to tremble with anxiety and fear, I'm not scared of the boys I'm scared of them not wanting to speak to me again.

I close the car door and take yet another deep breath before pulling at the sleeves of my sweatshirt and making my way to the front door and knocking on it. I can feel my heart thumping when suddenly the door swings open reveling Matt with Chris and Nick both just a few feet behind him. I go to open my mouth and speak but all that comes out is a cry and I fall into Matt's arms.

Matt and I were always the closest, I mean we were so close to being in a relationship until I met Danny and he made me feel like Matt would never want me. He used to tell me that I would just mess up Matt's life because the boys were moving to LA and that he would be way more interested in girls out there that he would just leave me anyways. Of course I believed him I mean what other choice did I have.

"It's ok, it's ok, I got you" Matt whispers as he holds me tightly and I sob into his chest. "I can't do it anymore" I cry as I pull away from Matt and wipe my tears with the sleeves of my sweatshirt. "Hey" Chris says placing his hand on my shoulder "We're here now" he says reassuring me that every thing is going to be alright and giving me a hug. "You don't have to go back anymore" Nick says also hugging me.

After a few hours of the boys and I catching up they offered to let me spend the night.

"You can stay in my room" Matt says as we're talking about where I was going to sleep. "I don't want to put any of you out of your bed" I say not wanting any of them to give up their room for me. "It's fine (Y/n) I really don't mind" Matt says tying to get me to accept his offer. "Matt can sleep with me that way you don't have to feel bad about his sleeping on the couch" Chris says also trying to get me to feel better about sleeping in Matt's room. "Fine" I say finally giving in.

The four of us all get ready for bed when I quickly realize I have nothing to sleep in. "Matt" I say standing in Chris' doorway and he walks over to me. "Can I borrow something to sleep in" I ask and he leads me to his room, opening the closet. "Take whatever you want" Matt says then he leaves the room. I get changed into one of Matt's t-shirts and quickly get into bed, I was so exhausted it was unbelievable. As soon as I shut my eyes my phone lights up with a text from Danny, do not look, I think to myself. After a few minutes of tossing and turning I couldn't help myself but look at all of his messages.

Baby when are you coming home

im sorry

babe

(Y/n)

Please come home

Baby please I need you

I drove past and saw your car at their house...

You know they dont want you there

They dont care about you anymore

I told you Matt and Chris are just trying to get in your pants

Thats all you are to them

You mean nothing to them they think your worthless

At least I love you come on babe

Come home it was one stupid fight

I didn't mean for this all to happen (Y/n) I love you

I wont ever do it again I promise

I went out and bought you that neckless you've been wanting

(Y/n) just come home or I will come get you

He won't ever stop, what if I just go home then maybe he'll stop all of this. Maybe if I go home this will be the time he actually changes, I think to myself. After I read all of the messages from Danny I began to feel sick to my stomach. I sit up on the edge of Matt's bed, bringing a hand to my chest to feel my heart beating at a rapid pace as my mouth starts to water I get up and bolt for the bathroom across the hall.

"Hey hey hey, I got you" Matt says rushing to my side to hold back my hair and rub my back as I'm spilling my guts into the toilet in front of us. I feel the tears start to form in my eyes again thinking about how much control Danny has over me, how he's the reason for me being like this. I was so scared of him and what he might do that it was physically making me sick. After I was done puking Matt and I sat on the bathroom floor for a minute as I tried to pull myself back together.

"Can I ask you something" Matt says and I nod my head in response. "What happened, like what made you actually come here and leave Danny" Matt asked sounding concerned yet curious at the same time, I knew he could see the bruises and scars covering my skin now that I was wearing nothing but the oversized t-shirt I borrowed from him. I take a deep breath before deciding if I was actually ready to tell Matt what happened earlier in the day. "He um... he, he hit me...again...like bad this time" I manage to choke out and I see Matt's soft expression turn even softer as he grabs my hand.

"My sister was in town this weekend and she stopped over before she had to go to her work conference and Danny he um, he got home just before she was leaving then after she left it's like the switch flipped and he became the monster again" I start to tell Matt what had happened, this story similar yet so different to the many others. I could tell Matt was listening and letting me take my time just by the expression on his face, he kept his hand placed in mine and let me continue my story. "He um... he started yelling about how I had company over and I didn't tell him, I didn't have dinner done, I didn't have on any makeup around my company and I let her see me looking disgusting" I continue on the verge of tears. "It's ok (Y/n)" Matt says in an attempt to reassure me that I was ok now. "The he-he slapped me and put his hands around my neck" I say beginning to cry. "He screamed in my face and told me that I don't deserve to be his wife, that-that I wasn't good enough to be with anyone and-and then he pushed me into the kitchen counter" I tell Matt having a flashback to the events that took place.

"You're such a worthless, stupid bitch" Danny shouts at me again as I begin to cry. "Stop fucking crying" he screams and I feel the familiar sting hit my check once more before he grabs me again by my wrists. "Stop fucking crying (Y/n) or I swear to god I will kill you" he shouts grinding his teeth as I try my best to choke back the tears.

"This is why all of your friends hate you and why your family doesn't want you because your a fucking crybaby bitch who can't do anything right" he shouts at me before hitting me once more. He drags me into our bedroom by my wrists "Since you're obviously not good for anything else you're going to do exactly what I want" Danny says unbuckling his belt. "Please no" I cry begging him not to do this again.

"You're supposed to be my fucking wife soon you have to do whatever the fuck I want" he yells at me as he pushes me down on the bed. I struggle to get his off of me but somehow, someway I do and I grab my purse and run for the door. I make it to my car and see that he surprisingly isn't following me. Today's the day I leave forever.

"I am so sorry (Y/n)" Matt says softly as he pulls me close to him as I cry. "I knew he was bad but I didn't think it was this bad" he whispers to me as he softly rubs my back. After I'm able to calm back down and stop reliving that moment that happened earlier in the night Matt and I just sit together in a peaceful silence. "Can-can you sleep with me tonight" I sorta hesitate to ask. "Yes" Matt says, he then helps me up off of the floor and we go back into his room laying down on opposite sides of the bed.

Sooo what do we think?? Should I do a part two?

Also comment to be on the tag list <3.

Have an amazing day my little sluts. mwah

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lokotrona11 · 5 months ago

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Gift kisses

Pairing : Peter Pevensie x Reader

summary : You go out with Caspian but Peter won't stop kissing you.

Word count : Less than 1k maybe 800

AN: The gif is not mine, I am not correcting what he published, and it is also taken from Casi angeles. I think nothing more.

----

Caspian knocks on the door to your room and you hold a mask in your hands. ''Please, let's talk''

He insists again but you don't move from the bed.

''I don't want to talk to you Caspian, go away''

You are supposed to be angry when you see Caspian and Susan kiss during the night but that's not the case, you don't think about Caspian and his adventure, rather your mind only replays the moment when Peter kissed you with the mask you held.

Of course, Caspian didn't know and seeing him with Susan had given you the perfect excuse to excuse your lack of desire to see him.

You didn't want to do this to Caspian, you thought you loved him, but when Peter pulled you away from the dance to kiss you on the night you would be introduced to Caspian and it would be like an engagement, you world fell apart, the same night your boyfriend kissed Susan when he had to dance with her when he couldn't find you.

''What's wrong with you, King?'' You say into the air, seeing the mask.

''I'm doing everything wrong.'' You force the mask into the box. ''everything wrong'' You scold yourself.

A noise starts at your window and your neck almost breaks looking in that direction.

Peter was coming through your window.

you squeal. ''What are you doing here?''

In a second you have Peter inches from you. ''What do you want?''

''Another kiss.'' He claims and kisses you, without asking permission or forgiveness.

You want to refuse, but as soon as his lips touch yours your brain shuts down, your body gives up without a fight and you can only follow his rhythm. but then you gather strength and push him away.

''Stop, are you crazy?"

''Yes, yes, for you. ''He says throwing himself back into you.

Manage to touch your lips before you brush it away, or well what you can

''No, no, no, you are Caspian's number one enemy, what you want is to take advantage of me...'' You throw him towards the window again.

Peter doesn't seem to make any effort to return to your lips, cupping the back of your neck and you try not to melt.

''Stop, I don't like being shut up with a kiss''

His eyebrows bend. ''You love to be silenced with a kiss,'' he accuses.

You laugh adjusting your hair. ''Who told you?''

''Look, I know you think this isn't right, but you don't love him, and I'm going to prove it to you.'' Take your face. ''I love you, and you love me''

They deflate you. ''Ha! "I don't love you at all, boy king."

Smile so hinoptic. ''Great king they tell me''

''don't correct me.'' You complain.

''You're leaving, you're leaving'' You try to throw him out.

''How pretty you are'' He says, stealing a kiss from you, again.

Your hands freeze in the air, your body sways as he wants and you only have control in your lips that follow his taste anyway.

''No, really, go or they will discover you''

Peter smiles like a fool at your comment. ''Aww, you don't want to be discovered, you're cuter.'' He tries to touch you but you hold his hands.

''That? It's not that... I don't want you... Go away, goodbye.''

''I'm leaving with one condition''

''Which?''

''We will see us again''

''No because... Well that's fine'' You scratch the back of your neck. ''But no..''

he shuts you up with a kiss.

''Is it possible?''

You hear Caspian's voice again and you separate, you see Peter getting under the bed and you throw yourself on the mattress and at that moment you catch Peter's hand under your thigh without noticing it

The door opens when you bend one leg.

''What are you doing?''

You squeak looking at him and undo your strange pose and Peter tries to remove his hand but you don't move, nor notice.

''I told you before not to come in, I'm doing my exercises.'' You raise one arm and flex your leg.

Caspian approaches you ''My love, listen to me, I can't go to sleep like this'' He tries to explain.

You despair when you see your boyfriend so close to you and you throw a pillow at him which makes him stop. ''What do you want to talk to me? No, go away, I don't want to talk to you now"

Caspian steps back and clasps his hands. ''If I hurt you it was accidentally, forgive me''

''Well, bye.'' You throw another pillow.

''Talk tomorrow?''

''Yes, tomorrow, Goodbye Caspian!''

The last pillow hits your door and falls to the floor as Caspian leaves.

You sigh in relief. ''It was a second that I thought... '' You're rambling without seeing it.

''The hand, my hand'' You hear it and only then do you see the situation.

''Sorry!'' You screech, removing your body. Peter comes out from under the bed. ''What are you doing with your hand there...?''

Peter doesn't answer that, he just puts his hands on his hips and raises his eyebrows at you. ''Is this how you treat your boyfriends now?"

Your gaze hardens. ''Bye, you're leaving''

You demand and stand up.

''Are you going to wait for my message?''

''No, I'm not going to wait any.. emm.. goodbye.'' You look away from him. ''You're leaving, can you leave?''

''What do you have there?'' Peter touched your lips.

''What do I have?'' You say but before you continue Peter steals a small kiss from you and runs away.

You laugh without grace and before I cross the window you speak.

''What time?''

Peter comes back to you and you kiss, this time without opposition.

''Wait for it'' he says, walking away.

Peter leaves your room and you only have to sit on the edge of your bed, sighing.

#peter pevensie #chronicles of narnia #narnia fanfiction #peter pevensie x reader #peter pevensie x y/n #pevensie peter #will moseley #william moseley #Peter Pevensie x lector #narnia #Las crónicas de Narnia #peter pevensie imagine

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sunshine-jesse · 1 year ago

Text

Ashley Literally Did Nothing Wrong, Fuck You, Fight Me

Alt title: Ashley Graves: The most convenient scapegoat in the world

I'm going to espouse a take here that will no doubt be controversial, as you can tell by the title. This is a take I've created from my hollistic understanding of the events of the game, and isn't dependent on any one single point I make in this essay. Because of that, I want you to read it with an open mind; if you hyperfocus on one or two smaller details I might've gotten wrong or are fallaciously interpretated, and either use that to discount the whole essay or go into the comment section and immediately try to debunk my interpretation of that event, that'll make it obvious to me that you're not trying to seriously engage with the core of what I'm trying to say. Because unless quite literally everything I've said here is wrong, I feel confident in saying this:

Ashley Graves did nothing wrong.

Moreover, I think Ashley is on the level of people like Rossiu, Shinji Ikari, and Skylar White as far as people who are mistreated by their fandoms goes.

At first this was going to be an essay about how I don't think the demons are evil, using textual and thematic evidence to show that they're just part of a system that deals mostly fairly with humans and doesn't have any nefarious plans, or at least nefarious plans that stand to fuck anyone over. But then I realized that, goodness gracious, that is boring as shit to write! But I looked at what I had written already and realized that I could write something else with it: something better. I could sum up a lot of the points made in my prior essays and elaborate upon them in much more detail, showing why I think certain themes are obviously present within this game. And here, I intend on doing that.

I've spoken a lot before about how Ashley is a scapegoat for all of Andrew's worst habits; and to a lesser extent, her mother's. The game makes it seemingly obvious that she's the bad one, and generally just a Very Not Good person. It shows her and her brother committing many different acts that are, under most moral systems, wrong, and implicitly implies that she's the reason that Andrew ever did those things. It implies that she's corrupting him, that he could be better and refuses- or is unable to- due to her poking and prodding. But… is that the truth? Is that how their relationship actually works, in practice? I don't believe so. I think I've made it obvious by now that I believe the exact opposite!

I'm going to start off by tackling the morality behind their actions, especially relative to the world they're in. Specifically, I'm going to tackle how the game presents the morality of their actions from a thematic point of view, and any statements it may or may not make.

First of all, TCOAL plays with a lot of different taboos- demon summoning, cannibalism, incest, murder- but the game goes through great lengths to muddy the moral weight of the siblings' actions. Every single action they commit is portrayed in the most neutral possible light- killings were done in self defense (with one notable exception), or done to people who greatly wronged them, cannibalism was a necessity to survive (also with one notable exception), incest is shown to come from a marked improvement in their relationship- leading me to believe that this game is taking a hard morally nihilistic stance. Else, they'd be shown to suffer for their actions, when in reality, the literal exact opposite is happening; they are being rewarded for it. This isn't necessarily glorifying the actions, but instead showing that even the worst of actions can potentially be excused, but whether or not you do is up to the reader. Hence, nihilism, or at the very least, skepticism (as noted by Lisafication). There's an existentialist reading of this too, but I think much of that is contingent on the events of chapter 3 so I won't get into that here.

It contrasts this mostly nihilistic perspective on interpersonal taboos with the deep societal ills that drive people to commit such actions. Evil exists at every level of analysis here, but curiously, the only thing that are shown to do direct harm to others without having a justification of some kind- be it self-defense or retaliation- are those societal ills. There is no (morally) good reason to quarantine people, starve them, and harvest their organs. There's no good reason to burn all evidence and then put a hit on the ones who did escape. There's no good reason to extort sexual favors from someone in exchange for food. These are deep structural problems that force people to either retaliate/lash out or enable people's most exploitative or abusive habits lest they just let themselves die.

And thus, the obvious evils become much less obvious. The game makes a point of subverting the obvious or the well-known when it comes to morals, and I think it does so when it comes to everything else, too. Outside of those societal ills (so far, ch3 might have something else to say), every situation where someone could obviously be shown as the bad person in a situation is immensely more complex than it first appears. So much so that I'd argue that displaying said complexity and subverting simplicity to force/encourage people to analyze things deeper is one of the central themes of the game.

So why, exactly, does he blame so much on her? It's because Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat, and the game is well-aware of this and displays it in ways both obvious and not.

First off: the title screen has Ashley wielding the cleaver, establishing that she’s the violent one. It's covered in blood, too, implying that she's the one more driven to kill. The reality of this is the opposite; Andrew is the one with less hesitation to inflict violence on others, the cleaver is his weapon, and most of the kills in the story are done by him (and fully justified). Ashley might push him to do these violent acts, but… does she?

Her reaction to the death of the first warden is one of utter shock.

And her expression afterwards?

This is not the look of someone who enjoyed the fact that someone killed for her sake. This is not the look of someone who finds joy to be had in violence. It's not even the look of someone who is apathetic towards violence. It almost seems to express shame or guilt, but at the very least, she's timid over it. At the very least, it's an "oh shit, he actually had to do that for my sake" face. Not a "haha, I am making him worse!" face.

Not to mention, not only does Andrew kill the first Warden without a care in the world, he proactively kills the 302 lady to eliminate all witnesses, and because he believes Ashley would want him to. But Ashley actually grills him for it; she didn't want the 302 lady to die, although she hardly had good-person-reasons for it. But that's not my point. The point is that she is not the violent one between the two of them.

The door doesn't open in response to violence, remember?

The game intentionally misleads us.

And what happens when Ashley tries to make him take responsibility for all this violence? To point out that she didn't force him to do anything and that he chose to do all of it, including lock Nina in the box? She lashes out, hits him a few times… and then he goes to strangle her, and doesn't let go until she acknowledges that he has no reason for her to be around. He literally doesn't cease his threat to her life until she acknowledges she's useless to him.

I acknowledge that this isn't the most charitable framing for Andrew, and maybe too charitable for Ashley. After all, she wasn't indignant. She was mocking him. She found it hilarious. But I have reasons for that charitability that I'll go over towards the end. But even with that charitability in mind, I don't think my reading is too off base. Defaulting to laughter or mocking in stressful situations is just what Ashley does. She's not indignant about it; she just finds it hilarious that people keep pretending to be better than her, when they're not.

Andrew killed the 302 lady and used Ashley as a scapegoat to justify it; this is indisputable, stated in the text during the dream. This alone validates Ashley's point of view. There is no interpretation of this event that doesn't paint Andrew as every bit as unscrupulous as Ashley, and thinking she corrupted him into this- when it was both one of the first actions he did on his own in the story and something he explicitly uses Ashley as a scapegoat for- is just ridiculous. It's frankly unreasonable. She has every right to be sick of being used as a scapegoat. And at the very least, whether or not you accept the idea that Andrew only let Ashley go once she acknowledged that she's useless to him, he's still so taken aback by his misinterpretation of Ashley's desires that HE goes to strangle HER.

This is NOT Andrew triumphantly standing up to his abuser. This is both of their masks slipping; Andrew revealing how violent and insistent on keeping up his internal narrative that he is, and Ashley revealing that she's getting tired of being blamed for everything.

And then, when he finally lets her go… she hugs him, and acknowledges that she's happy that Nina is gone, which makes little sense at the face of it. Why would that be her first response to being let go, when it was ostensibly what made Andrew so upset to begin with?

I think, to her, it's a conciliatory gesture. As chapter 2 showed us, she's more than willing to take responsibility for violence to relieve Andrew of stress over it, as evidenced by her finishing off their parents. This is an earlier instance of that; by acknowledging she was happy that Nina was dead, she took responsibility for it. She willingly framed herself as a bad person here, so Andrew wouldn't have to be.

She let herself be the scapegoat, because it's all she ever knew. She put the mask back on.

This alone is enough to challenge the idea that Ashley 'corrupts' Andrew in any meaningful way. How, exactly, can you define it as corrupt when society itself is twisted enough to force these actions to survive? In a more sane world, a lot of their actions would've been bad, sure, but they're also actions that the siblings probably wouldn't have done in a more sane world. Ashley's actions aren't making Andrew worse, they're helping to ensure their survival. You could say that this is still corruptive in its own way, but at that point it seems like your reasoning is motivated by having already had that narrative rather than making a good-faith reading of their dynamic.

At no point did she actually make him worse; he was already like that and just used her as an excuse.

Next up is the Nina situation. This one is obviously cut and dry- Ashley manipulates Andrew into killing Nina because she wants no competition between the two of them. It's not Andrew's fault and Ashley was an evil abuser from the jump. Obvious, right?

No. It's really not.

It's pretty strongly implied that Ashley was mistreated by people her whole life. The Lemon Cupcake scene shows this in more detail, about how people always neglect or ignore her birthdays, but she also says that nobody likes her because she's weird and loud in the Nina flashback too. But unless something big happened in between the two flashbacks, none of this behavior indicates particularly maladaptive or even strange tendencies on Ashley's part. She's a needy, bratty child, and the closest thing to a friend she has- Nina- wants to take away the one thing from her that's a source of comfort and emotional validation.

It's not entirely rational, sure! But it also -makes perfect sense-. NOBODY treated her well throughout her entire life; it's strongly implied that Nina never did either, given Nina's reaction to Ashley being there and the lower left-hand painting past the Questionable door showing her being distant from the two of them. We can also see a star bouncing off of her head, and stars represent closeness in this game, so it shows there was an attempt made somewhere along the line, it's just not clear as to who made the attempt.

At the very least, Nina's reaction of disappointment fed into Ashley's preconceived notions of how people treat her, and how she deserves to be treated. Although, from what has been directly stated, rather than implied, Nina was nothing more than an innocent victim in this scenario; I don't mean to take that away from her.

"But she didn't care when Nina died?"

So? If Nina treated her like trash for most of her life, why should she care? She didn't expect Nina to die. It was just an acceptable consequence. You can say "That's not how normal kids act!" all you want, but there's a level of spite and apathy that comes with intense bullying and emotional neglect that I don't think you really understand unless you've been there to the extent someone like Ashley has implied to be.

Andrew, meanwhile, was the one who told Ashley that they had to lock Nina in the box to keep them in there. He's the one who looked for and found the stick to keep them locked in. You could say he was coerced by an abusive person into hurting someone, sure, but you'd be wrong. Cataclysmically wrong, even. Like, if you actually think that a seven year old girl (nobody wears overalls past the age of seven) can have anything approximating an abusive dynamic with her as the perpetrator with someone both older and stronger than her, you frankly have some issues with women you need to work out. That's simply not how abuse dynamics work at that age.

Andrew wasn't entirely responsible for it either, mind- he was just a kid who should never have been saddled with this kind of responsibility. But that's not my point; the point is that it enables other people, Andrew included, to use her as a scapegoat to avoid his own responsibility. All this scene does is retroactively justify any preconceptions you might've had about them from seeing their adult selves first. But the moment you start digging, it becomes much less obvious who's really culpable here. Andrew was, as evidenced by the blood oath scene, fully aware that he held the advantage over her in strength, and managed to give up nothing when making the oath while he made Ashley swear to silence. He was fully aware that he could've chosen to do better, but he refused, and instead opted to reinforce Ashley's insecurities for the sake of exerting control over her.

I've said before that the 302 lady was murdered without any input from Ashley, but this is also relevant on a meta-level because it's done without any input from the player, either. Both of the murders in chapter 1 were like that, whereas all that we, the player can choose to do in that chapter is either solve puzzles, or hilariously, die. The only person with control here is Andrew, the character, and this is reinforced by the fact that we have no control over him for much of the Nina flashback, too. He locks her in the box regardless of our input, even though Ashley spends a lot of time trying to convince him. The main difference between the Nina flashback and the scenes in the apartment is that Ashley had absolutely no idea that any of that was going to happen in the present, whereas it's something she wanted with Nina- which isn't that big of a difference when discussing how much agency she really has.

As much as the game frames Ashley as a manipulator- and much of the fanbase uncritically accepts- she is given shockingly little in-game control over many of the actions committed. Even in the case of the Hitman- as a good friend of mine pointed out- the only choice the player is given is whether or not to check the closet and be killed; an impulsive decision leading to a swift and unceremonious end. In the end, Andrew is the one given the choice to kill the hitman, and we can consciously choose whether or not his reaction is panicked or measured. No such choice is given to Ashley, as most of her reactions are impulsive and spontaneous rather than planned. This is not the makings of a standard "manipulative evil bitch" trope. She's pretty consistently portrayed as someone with poor impulse and emotional control who loudly and aggressively states her intent in every single scenario she's in.

And you can still call what she says and does manipulative despite that, sure, but at what point are you just pathologizing relatively normal (if extreme and highly emotional) social interactions for the sake of fitting into a narrative you already held?

We see Ashley's status as a scapegoat for people to use to pretend to be normal reach its most blatant with the parents. This time it's pretty cut and dry to anyone that doesn't already have it in their mind that Ashley is evil and unforgivable. Mrs. Graves explicitly brings up the possibility of a normal life without Ashley to Andrew in the basement, and claims that Ashley was at fault for shutting her out. She would've been a normal parent otherwise, right? Well, no; the game wastes no time in showing that this wasn't the case in the Burial ending.

From when Ashley was a baby, Mrs. Graves was already tired of her shit, and too emotionally exhausted to be a parent. Despite her attempts at blaming Ashley, she would've never been a normal parent unless Ashley was a golden child in the same way that Andrew was. And yet Ashley didn't even deny shutting her mom out. She didn't deny the chance to be used as a scapegoat; it was all she ever knew. The fact that Mrs. Graves had the audacity to claim that she was a saint when she was never prepared to be a parent for a child who didn't make it easy, and when she was willing to sell out her children and let them die for a life insurance payment is absolutely astounding.

This alone should've been enough to recontextualize everything we supposedly know about how responsible Ashley really is in all of this, but bad parents have a knack for being great at manipulating both family members and everyone viewing from the outside, including the people playing the game.

And almost including Andrew.

Andrew almost accepting the mom's offer is the single most tragic moment in the game, by far.

Dandy said it best in his video essay: By Ashley leaving Andrew alone with their parents, she showed that she is capable of changing. That she is capable of getting better. She showed that she loves and respects Andrew enough to be able to put aside her usual role as the scapegoat and allow him to make the decision that was for the best for both of them. And make no mistake, it was for the best; if the mom really DID sell out the siblings, and given the two of them were already on the run for supposedly being dead, there was no hope of any of this ever working out. They saw through the conspiracy and knew the truth of how the quarantine operations really worked. They were an active threat to one of the most powerful entities seen in the setting so far, to the point where they had a hitman sent after them.

Mrs. Graves had every reason to sell them out again, for their presence in a public setting was more than enough to put everyone in their family in danger. Mrs. Graves had every reason to believe that the normalcy she wanted was nothing that could ever be grasped again so long as her children were alive, and as such, it was clear that she had nothing to offer either Andrew or Ashley. Ashley trusted Andrew to see through their obvious manipulations and lies, and understand that the parents had nothing left to give them. She trusted him to love her more than the false promises their parents could give.

…And yet. In spite of it all.

In spite of her love, in spite of clearly displaying that she can grow up and become a person that causes him less stress, and in spite of Ashley showing that all she wants now is their safety and security…

Andrew can still choose to consider Ashley the problem. He can still choose to use her as the scapegoat he always has.

He can still choose to see her as the one thing that caused him to be this way, that stands in between him and normalcy, when she, not once, forced him to do anything.

Were he to accept Mrs. Graves' offer, this would've been the single most tragic moment in the game. It almost was, and still stands to be, because he ignores every indication that things could be better for the sake of his own narrative, and a narrative echoed by much of the fandom.

But no matter what ending was picked, things could be better. They could've been better all along. Compared to chapter 1, their dynamic in chapter 2 is already much healthier. Their banter is less venomous, and while they still poke and prod each other in ways that aren't exactly great, they don't get into the same violent fights we saw in the 302 room. By all accounts, what happened in that room was an outlier. Even when they find themselves in their parents' house, where they stand to do the One Thing That Means They Would Never Be Normal Again, Ever (ignoring the fact that this is already a lost cause by then), Ashley doesn't get into any fights with Andrew in the same way she did back in the apartment. All she wants is affirmation and security. She doesn't even lay into her mom like she lays into Julia over the phone, even in their private conversations.

We’re led to believe that she’s still getting worse because the actions she’s taking are more extreme, but her attitudes and behaviors are much, much different. The actual actions they're taking are so obviously the right thing to do (both morally and practically) that I don't think it's until they eat their parents that you should make a double take and go "Wow, maybe these goblins actually are kinda fucked up," because until then, well… everything is justified! Perfectly so! Even then, eating their parents serves a purpose, even if not a mentally healthy one.

Maybe she’s calmer because she’s in control over the situation, but if the calls she made to Julia are any indication (independent of the theory that she didn’t actually say those things), were she unchanged as a person, she still would’ve lashed out at their mother over how much more useful she is to Andrew than their parents were, or something of that nature. Something about how nothing their mom offers could compete with what Ashley gives. But she makes no such claims. She feels no need to prove anything to her parents, or to reaffirm her place in Andrew’s life even in the face of her mother challenging it (or at least implying such a challenge). Regardless of her insecurities, she’s changed. It’s hard to see, but she has.

And then Andrew can ignore that and consider betraying her because he refuses to believe that she's willing to make their dynamic work, when she shows many different indications of being willing to concede as long as Andrew stops giving her mixed signals.

A friend of mine put it best, and I'm pretty much quoting her word for word here, because of how strongly I agree with it. When I look at Ashley, I find very few actual "flaws." I see familiar wounds.

The Burial ending, despite being triumphant and not nearly as "dark" as some people think, is still very, very sad. A lot of abusive dynamics are characterized by someone having to fight every step of the way to get what they need from the other person, usually some kind of emotional validation or relief. This is what happens between Andrew and Ashley for most of the game: Ashley wants Andrew to treat their relationship as special, to acknowledge there's something to it beyond just him going through the motions. And yet for most of the game, he refuses to, especially in chapter 1. And then, in Burial, when he does…

She's confused.

A lot of people view this as her being afraid of losing control over Andrew, since her "Andy," who she can push around, is gone. Andrew has changed, and the same tricks wouldn't work. But that's not what that is; it's not about control, it's about her finally getting what she wants from him without having to fight. She still thinks about using sex as leverage to keep him around, but that's because she's never understood what it's like to have someone actually want to be around her. And I speak from experience; when you no longer have to fight for every little bit of emotional validation or relief, when you no longer have to keep checking your messages to keep an argument going so you can finally be proven right, when you no longer have to force yourself to let go, to stop engaging, the reaction isn't happiness. It's not relief.

It's confusion. It's discontent.

Because something you've tied so much of yourself up in to is no longer there, despite it being more peaceful, it still feels wrong. The dynamic still has to be this way in your mind, because you've never known anything else. You latch on to whatever you can in order to justify that, and your actions are still heavily biased in favor of maintaining your place in that nonexistent dynamic. This isn't manipulation; it's trauma. And the fact that Ashley almost immediately understands that Andrew is changing is nothing short of a miracle. By consolidating past and present Andrew into a single person rather than splitting them into two, she showing that she can actually heal from that trauma. And all Andrew had to do to enable this is to acknowledge that she CAN change, that things CAN be better, and that everyone who claims to be better than her is full of shit.

I've analyzed the events of the story in a way that may seem needlessly antagonistic to some characters, and overly charitable to others. But I have to ask you, that if you disagree with anything I've said:

Where does that disagreement come from? What about my narrative clashes with your own? -Why- does it clash? Is it because the game presents your interpretation as obvious, whereas mine is not? Is it because you've experienced someone like Ashley before in your life, and you know it when you see it? Maybe you strongly identify with Andrew, and view his status as a doormat with no agency to be obvious? Or did you just accept the narrative that much of the fanbase has taken at face value, without further analysis other than building on top of it?

I don't believe these things to be contrarian; I've held most of these opinions since my first or second playthrough. I don't believe what I do because you don't, I believe what I do because I understand what Ashley has been through. I've experienced a lot of the specific traumas she had, such as deep feelings of isolation and being deprived of the emotional validation I need from the people who need to give it. I know what it's like to be misunderstood, to have who and what I am taken for granted, and to be terrified of being abandoned by the people I need the most. I see what I do because I understand.

And I want to give her that understanding that nobody gave me.

Maybe you should think about it. Why do you take it for granted that Andrew is a doormat who is strung along by Ashley? Why do you find it so odd when the trope of a woman corrupting a good man through leveraging sex is drawn into question? Why is Ashley seen as crazy, when all of her actions are so straightforward and rational? How is she corrupting him, when the single most needlessly violent act in the whole story- outside of the Nina flashback- is done without her influence? Why is Ashley seen as the abusive one when Andrew both threatens and resorts to physical violence and witholds emotional validation?

Weirdly personal tangent aside, Ashley and Andrew are two of the most well-written characters I have ever seen. They're not written like archetypes who interact with each other through a series of tropes; they're written like real people who's words and actions have astoundingly human motivations. They come from places that we can understand and relate to.

And just like people, they deserve respect. In spite of all they've done, they deserve love.

But make no mistake, Ashley is not the one stopping that love from happening. She just has the audacity to still want it in spite of everything telling her that she doesn't deserve it. We're led to believe she wants too much, but all she ever wanted was the bare minimum that she was never given.

And she has every right to be mad about it.

#andrew graves #ashley graves #the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #tcoaal essay #gaming

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argylemnwrites · 4 months ago

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Anyone Still Here?

So... it's been a while. I had a baby. I traveled with her internationally for a wedding. She turned one. I built a house and moved into it. I had a dental emergency a few days before my closing. Everything in the new house is now toddler proofed... until she thinks of a new way to get into a dangerous situation. I think that many life events safely defines my hiatus as "extended."

The Choices fandom is, I'm guessing, dying. I've not been on Tumblr or even the Choices subreddit with any regularity in over a year at this point, so I don't know this as a fact, but I have my suspicions. The mass culling of PB staff, the acquisition of PB by an AI company, former talent from PB starting a competing app would tend to indicate trouble on its own.

But a dying fandom is one that is more worth coming back to, though. I firmly believe that. When the original content is floundering, when fan engagement is dropping, that is the time that fan works matter the most. So, knowing that my readership is likely going to be non-existent and that my series have probably been written off as dead for quite some time, I'm looking to come back.

I've been "writing" in my mind on my commute again lately. Found myself missing engaging with these characters. Most of all, I want to finish my current WIPs. I don't know if literally anyone who was reading them before is still around. But if anyone is, I want to know if you have preferences about how I go about tackling finishing up my two unfinished TRR canon divergent series - Why Are We Still Waiting? and Fight or Flight. (And yes, I still remember how they both end, hahaha)

Not sure there are enough people to warrant true polls, so just going to post this here:

Do you prefer that I alternate between my two ongoing series, or is tackling one first, then moving on to the other preferable? If the latter, any preference on which series I start with?

Do you prefer I post as I have a chapter done without any regular schedule, or would waiting longer for me to finish the series so I am able to guarantee posting dates be better?

Would links to AO3 be acceptable if I find myself getting annoyed with Tumblr formatting, or will you only read on Tumblr itself?

If you have opinions, I want to hear them. If you've left the fandom, I hope life is treating you kindly and don't worry, I'll be posting a tag list clean up post before I start posting any writing again so you won't get spammed. If you've straight up forgotten who I am, no worries. It's been ages. Trying to find my most recent tag list is a joke at this point. I think this is my "up to date" version for my TTR stuff at least, but sorry in advance if you either should or shouldn't be included and weren't/were respectively.

Perma: @forallthatitsworth @mom2000aggie @kingliam2019 @lovingchoices14

TRR/TRH: @motorcitymademadame @iplaydrake @princessleac1 @twinkleallnight @marshmallowsandfire

@axwalker @sirbeepsalot @iaminlovewithtrr @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @hedgehogs-dilemmas

Drake x MC: @rubiwalker @walkerdrakewalker @petiteboheme @mskaneko

ICWAM: @sunnyxdazed

FoF: @burnsoslow @monstercyclops

#choices fanfiction #drake x mc #guess whos back #the in progress label on my masterlists is kind of pushing it at this point #but I want to fix that #if a han leia writer came back after seven years to finish her abandoned wip I can come back after about two right #seriously #I hope at least a few people are around still #But if not I still do plan to wrap these series up properly

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septembermonologues · 2 months ago

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i am so fucking terrified, i don't know how to get through this waiting

I guess I'm asking if there's any hope left to be had

the wait is so brutal but yes, i firmly believe that there is always hope!! some things i'm trying to keep in mind are:

- the red haze-- early results seem widely red because in-person votes lean republican. those votes are also counted first and faster because they're smaller counties compared to denser ones that lean democrat. make sure you're looking at the % of ballots counted because projected results aren't true results. the race won't start to actually solidify until tomorrow morning.

- keep an eye on your state and local reps! the nitty gritty stuff can be more positive than the national (i live in a pretty rural area but i just happily voted for rep underwood--a younger progressive black woman--a second time).

- just because results come short of what we hoped doesn't mean they represent popular opinion. in florida, marijuana and abortion rights have fallen short even with a 50%+ majority because they require a 60% majority to pass. i know it's incredibly disheartening to not see popular opinions supported by law but i also believe that you have to remember that people, especially people in historically red states, don't necessary tow the stereotypical line. there is room for movement and change.

- there are ballots that currently aren't being counted because they have errors that are CURABLE and CAN be counted if corrected. i already reblogged something about it but if you voted (esp if by mail) please answer unnamed calls because it could be about your ballot. if you go here at vote.com you can also track your ballot.

- there are always, always things for us to do between elections. encourage your friends and family to look forward at the 2026 midterms (they can have huge effects on congress) and start planning, see if there are any campaigns that could use your help moving forward, look into working polling stations in the future (i did it in 2018 and it was a long but fulfilling day), get the fuck outside and moving around. find out where you can volunteer around you- homeless shelters, food banks/kitchens, community events. read some history and some theory-- we aren't actually in completely unprecedented times and it's important to remember where we've progressed from.

- honestly? stop giving batshit crazy people the attention they want. no rage engagement. its what they want. focus on raising awareness without directly interacting with them.

- it fucking sucks ass that its this close and that extremists win. i will never ever say that it doesn't. but it will not be the end. it will be hard but thats when we have to lean on each other. we can't be afraid to ask each other for help and we have to find things to be excited and hopeful for. there is some truth to "other people have it worse so i have to keep going". who are we to give up on the whole?

maybe im just tipsy but i just find so much hope and inspiration in the work so many people put into civil service. people want better than what we have and are fighting for us. i can't let myself get too negative because it doesn't do any good to wallow. just in general i love humanity too much to let the bad win.

#i feel like im talking out of my ass but hopefully any of this means anything #us politics

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panda-writes-kpop · 9 months ago

Text

look at me! look at me!

a/n: @sanccharine apologies for the late fic... 🧍‍♀️ but it's done and it's fluffy!! everyone say yay!! happy late birthday, my friend ❤️

tw: alcohol consumption, paladin schemes, poor taste in party games

related fics: sorry for party rockin'!, we're never getting back together (like ever?)

♡ Masterlist ♡

summary: you invite chou tzuyu, a girl you know nothing yet everything about, over for a quiet night of studying. things don't go to plan as you're invited to a party and forced to reveal your feelings for each other in a not-so-glamorous way.

You usually don't have time for parties. With classes, hobbies, and friends in the mix, you're squeezed for time on a regular basis. Although you try to find time to go out and have fun, life usually has other plans for you.

So here you are, 6 p.m. on a Saturday, doing homework for a class.

What a life.

Your phone rings with a familiar tone. You didn't have one set for most of your contacts except the Paladins, your family, and Chou Tzuyu.

Since the sound emanating from your phone is one of Hongjoong's mixtapes that he sent to you, you know exactly who's calling you.

"Hey, Tzuyu," You answer the phone before pausing your typing at your computer, "what's up?"

"Do you mind if I come over and study? There's so much noise at the house, I can't concentrate-"

"No problem," You answer quickly, albeit a bit too quickly for friendly chatter, "You need a ride?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Are you sending an Uber?"

"Nah, I'll ask Katie. She won't mind." You pull the phone away from your ear after turning on speaker mode.

Although Katie was the affectionate boomer hater, she'd gladly bend over backward to please you. You often wished that she'd take care of herself as well as she took care of you... but you didn't mind using your "Katie's Favorite Paladin" privileges every now and again.

You hear Tzuyu sigh as something in the background hits a wall and shatters.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. See you then."

Ever the punctual woman, Tzuyu ends the phone call before you can engage in any friendly chatter. You wonder if you'd even call yourself friends - sure, you two hang out a lot, but all you talk about is classes, homework, or your friends' stupid antics.

You want to know more about her - who is Chou Tzuyu, really?

And why do you have a crush on her?

"Thanks for letting me study here tonight. If I had to mediate another fight, I would've lost it." Tzuyu mumbles as she unloads her stationary onto your desk.

You grab a chair from another room before moving your shit to the side. She offers you a smile before opening her laptop as you sit down and start to work on your own things.

"Hey, you two need anything?" Katie peeks into the room as you two look up at her.

"I'm good, thanks." Tzuyu says as you nod.

"Since you pre-made some snacks for us, I'm alright."

"You didn't have to-"

"No, it's no trouble, Dami called me earlier and I've been making food since. I trust that you two will leave some leftovers." Katie pushes away Tzuyu's concern before grabbing a set of car keys. "If you two change your mind, the party's only a block away. Feel free to walk over and join the rest of human civilization."

With that, Katie heads out of the apartment, leaving you and Tzuyu to your own devices.

"Do you want to order a pizza or something?" You ask as you close your computer.

Katie's pre-made snacks are now nothing but crumbs - perhaps you can shoulder the blame to King again?

Yet again, Katie and Tzuyu were friends, so she'd hopefully let it slide.

"I'm full, thanks." As always, she doesn't offer any friendly chatter.

Tzuyu quietly packs up her things, but she doesn't make any effort to leave the apartment. Neither do you, but you can't find the words to say in order to engage in any meaningful conversation.

"Are you in the mood for some hell-raising?" You ask as you grab your phone. "I don't know if parties are your style, but the Paladins make them fun for everyone."

"I'll go if you do." She softly says as you grab your jacket.

"Let's get going, then."

(You really need to work on your conversational skills.)

The party was already hectic when the two of you arrived. People were already drunk (people being two of the three older Paladins - at least Neon had his shit together).

"I thought this was supposed to be 'an intimate gathering among friends'?" Tzuyu quips as she leans against the door.

"Word gets out fast, I guess." You shrug before making your way towards the kitchen. "Katie?"

"In here!" She yells over the buzz of the crowd as the two of you file into the kitchen. "I'm a bit busy, but I'm glad you could make it. Feel free to mingle if you two would like. Oh, and could you two keep an eye on King and Sparrow for me?"

"I thought that was Neon's job?" You ask as Katie scoffs.

"First off, he's terrible at that job because he usually gets drunk with them. Second, he and Siyeon went to get more booze," Katie smiles to herself before adding, "I'll have to thank Ryujjn later for hiding the rest of the booze."

"You're such a little shit-"

"-I prefer the term matchmaker, thank you very much." Katie corrects you. "Now go find the other boomers before they fuck up my plan."

"You have a plan?" Tzuyu tilts her head as Katie laughs.

"Oh, I always have a plan."

"Because I'd rather not have to get infected by a parasite to get your attention. Being bitten by a vampire sounds less painful." Tzuyu says before you cough into your drink.

After hustling the crowd for a little bit of money, since you know how drunk Sparrow and King can get, Katie invites the gawking crowd to play another game.

"How about we play Spin the Bottle?"

It was a terrible idea, really, since tempers had already been flaring a bit. But what was wrong with a little more chaos?

You had joined the small crowd that was headed towards another part of the living room. You noticed some familiar faces - Katie, Jinsoul, Dami, Ryujin, and Heejin, among others - but Tzuyu hung back from the crowd.

"Come on over and observe the chaos. You don't have to play." You mouth to her as you make eye-contact with her.

"Are you sure that you don't mind me watching?" She says as you nod to her.

She walks over as people start to make another circle - this one is more messy, but you take a seat in between Katie and Ryujin.

Katie takes the bottle and slides it towards Jinsoul on the other side of the circle.

"You should go first since you didn't get to play Truth or Drink." Katie smiles at Jinsoul, who eagerly grabs the bottle from the floor.

"Let's make this party interesting." She spins the bottle as Tzuyu takes a seat behind the seated circle.

You find yourself holding your breath as you watch the bottle spin around and around on the floor. Nervousness develops in your stomach - not because you're nervous about kissing one of the girls, but you're more nervous about kissing a girl in front of Tzuyu.

You weren't sure exactly what the two of you were - friends? in the talking stage? two acquaintances? study buddies? somewhere in-between?

But she always made time to see you. Between her extracurriculars and the hefty class schedule, Tzuyu had little time to spare. You didn't fail to notice that she didn't have homework to work on when you agreed to study together. You'd even catch her staring at you sometimes, when she didn't catch you first.

You never called each other friends or anything more, but you want to know more about Chou Tzuyu. What were you doing together when you didn't even know what you were to each other?

You're playing with fire when you talk to Tzuyu. You fall deeper for her, unsure if she feels the same way.

Now, as the bottle slows down, it feels like the flames are burning you alive.

But you're lucky as it lands on Heejin, who happily accepts a cheek kiss from her friend.

This was a truly terrible idea, you think to yourself, as Heejin grabs the bottle and spins it.

Maybe you'll make it out of this without ruining whatever you have with Tzuyu, or without embarrassing yourself.

Of course, nothing was ever that simple.

Heejin's spin landed on Yeji, who drunkenly chased the former around until a kiss was successfully planted on Heejin's forehead.

Yeji, after three failed attempts, managed to spin the bottle enough for it to land on Ryujin. Cheers erupted as the first lip-to-lip contact was made.

Then the drama starts as Ryujin spins the bottle and it lands to your right.

The neck of the bottle points directly at Katie, who stares in shock before leaning over to look at Ryujin.

You feel like you're in-between something serious as Dami, on the other side of the circle, looks on with curiosity.

Ryujin moves to the side before pulling Katie close. The two share a quick kiss before returning to their spots. Katie takes the bottle in her hands, but she quickly shakes her head and hands it back to Ryujin.

"You should go again. It's only fair since you didn't get to play earlier." Katie says as Ryujin nods in agreement.

"Sounds good to me." Ryujin spins the bottle as Katie nervously bites her lip while staring at a single spot on the floor.

You offer her a sympathetic pat on the back that helps relax her a bit.

Katie sighs in relief before muttering, "I knew things were going to get tense, but I was hoping that I would be outside of the drama."

You smile to yourself as the shenanigan-making Paladin gets bitten in the ass by a product of her own design.

"You shouldn't have played with fire if you didn't want to get burned." You tease as she scoffs.

"That's why I wanted to sit next to Ryujin. The bottle never lands on the person next to the spinner." She says as the bottle Ryujin spins on lands on you.

"I wish the situational irony was less subtle." You grumble as Katie offers you a quick side hug.

"You shouldn't have played with fire if you didn't want to get burned~"

"Very funny." You roll your eyes as you face Ryujin.

"I get to kiss two Paladins in one night? I should buy a lottery ticket or something." Ryujin smirks before leaning in to kiss you.

You nervously bite your lip before starting to lean in - Tzuyu won't mind, right? It's just a silly children's game.

One that could ruin any chance of you two being more than friends.

Luckily, your lips never meet Ryujin's as Tzuyu hauls you off of your feet and drags you into the kitchen.

"Wait a minute-" You try to protest, but her grip on the back of your shirt is ironclad as she pulls you away from any prying eyes.

A few mutters ring out from the group your left behind, but screams quickly take over as another victim is selected.

"What was that about?" You say as Tzuyu lets go of your shirt.

"I didn't want you to kiss Ryujin."

"Yeah, I figured that one out when you hauled me away from her in a hurry. It's almost like you're the one who wanted to kiss me." You joke, just as you always do with all of your friends.

She looks away from you, towards the window that faces the street.

She's deadly serious.

You feel like a total jerk.

Tzuyu navigates towards the door with disappointment on her face as you trial after her.

"Wait, hold on, I didn't think you seriously liked me-"

"-of course I did! Why else do you think I want to hang out with you and do homework? I don't even have homework half of the time!" She sounds exasperated as she pauses her stride to glance at you.

"I wasn't really sure if we were friends or if you wanted to be more." You offer her your hand, and she takes it. "I'm sorry if I gave mixed signals or if I pushed you away from me. I didn't mean to, at all."

"I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to pull you away from your friends. I just didn't want you kissing any other girl at this party.." She trails off before you encouragingly squeeze her hand.

"-besides you?" You smile at her. "Don't worry, you're the only one I've thought about kissing all night."

You lean forward and kiss her cheek. Tzuyu offers you a wide smile, one that you've rarely seen.

It's enough to tempt you closer as you pull back and go for her lips this time.

Unfortunately, your bliss is short-lived as Sparrow slams the door open. You and Tzuyu immediately part - she's red in the face as you're trying to wipe her lipstick off your face.

"King got mud on my shoes, that motherfucker!" She screams, completely unaware to your presence. "NEOOOOON!"

She hollers for the oldest Paladin before stumbling into the living room as a mud-clad King walks into the house.

"Have I ever told you about the one time-" He says to absolutely no one before wandering into the kitchen.

Kim Lip follows closely behind, throwing you a wink before shoving King into the kitchen to give you two some privacy.

"Your friends are something, but mine aren't much better." Tzuyu laughs before sliding in next to you. "Shall we rejoin the party?"

"Yeah, otherwise Katie will be making up all sorts of lies about me." You mutter.

"C'mon, lovebirds, join the fun! We swapped games, and Twister's getting pretty intense!" Katie yells as the crowd screams in unison before someone falls to the ground.

It's never uneventful around her, but you don't mind having a slice of normalcy with Tzuyu. Especially since she's holding your hand and kissing your face every once in a while.

Hopefully, the blackmail isn't as bad as what you have on the other Paladins.

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